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Fri, Jan. 18th, 2008, 06:21 am

Apparently I'm averaging 1 entry every 2 months. I know I suck.

Lets see what you all missed.

-Concerts are over. They went well.
-Started both shows. I don't have a single day off after school until May 25th.
-Christmas was cool.
-New Years was cool.
-I bought a TV.
-I'm 25. Happy Birthday to me.
-I'm moving in 2 weeks.
-Things are good. :)

K done. You're caught up. Hopefully be back here before March and maybe I'll have a bit more to say by then haha.

Tue, Nov. 20th, 2007, 06:46 am

crazy crazy week...i so need these 2 days off.

Too bad they won't actually be DAYS OFF.

Thrusday we're hosting Thanksgiving.

Friday we will have our leftover people and food.

Saturday we have the living nativity thing and Christmas parade and festival all day.

Afterwards we're having a party for everyone involved.

We're crazy. Maybe by sunday I might be able to rest and write lesson plans......


I need a true day off

Sun, Nov. 18th, 2007, 02:28 pm

3 and 1/2 weeks til concert time....

is it bad that i'm already starting to have pre-concert nightmares????

I promised roni I'd start updating this thing again.

Dec. 13 i'll write the longest entry ever. until then.....

Wed, Oct. 17th, 2007, 10:55 pm

I realized today that I am really and truely single for the first time in 5 years.

Go me....I think.

Mon, Aug. 27th, 2007, 04:34 pm
Quick Update

I've finally completely (almost) shaken off this cold I got!


I got a job!!! Go me!

:-)I'm teaching vocal music in North Arlington. Middle and High School. It'll be fun. I met the band director guy today. everyone in the district seems REALLY nice, whihc helps a lot when you're new. I have new teacher orientation on Thursday so that'll be fun and exciting.

So now I really CAN stay in Rutherford too. :-) I'm very happy.

alright well, I am hot...and like on fire so I'm gonna go jump in my pool now.

things are good. This is like my new beginning. I'm happy. VERY happy. Almost too happy. lol.

alright time for my pool. peace out

Sun, Aug. 19th, 2007, 04:12 pm
Finally feeling better

Slowly but surely. There's no way I cought this from Evan I feel like COMPLETE crap. I'm finally today feeling slightly better for the first time in 5 days. I sound like the damn Swedish Chef when I talk. My nasal passages are completely blocked. I can't close my mouth without suffocating myself!!

It blows, but I'm getting better.

I think I might apply for a job in NC. Its not too far from my aunt and uncle. Talk about a change of scenery for a year.

Ok its naptime.

Be back laters.

Fri, Aug. 17th, 2007, 09:03 am

Long time no update. I'm only updating now because I'm sick and quite honestly have no desire to be awake, but here I am. For as much as I've done all this soul searching and know who I am and what I need, I still feel really shitty. Yesterday was one of the worst days I've had in months, and it was totally caused by people I NEVER expected to hurt me. I was supposed to go to six flags today to see Rob and now I can't because my mom needs my car. I was supposed to babysit tomorrow, but my mom needs my car once again so I can't. Evan also got me sick, so I guess Its for the best that I take another day off and relax. My mom just flipped out again about me not pulling my weight around the house. Actually, the ironic thing is I am. I pull my weight with everything they ask of me. I just don't have time to clean up my own stuff, like my room. But that's the thing my mom flipped about saying if I don't get it the way she wants it she'll start charging me rent, how I'm not setting a good expample for my siblings who no offense are 16 and almost 15 years old they don't exactly NEED examples set for them anymore.

The timing just couldn't be worse. I can't seem to stay awake for more than like 45 minutes without needing to lie down. My eyes are all swollen from being sick.

My family has been on my case cause I haven't sent my thank you cards yet from my grad party. I'm sorry but if you ASK for a THank you card, you don't deserve one. I'll get to it, I just haven't yet. They're all adults they should know what the first summer after college is like. God forbid I be busy, find a job, finish out another job. I have one week of summer left, then a week of band camp, then who knows.

I have an interview next week in Vineland, NJ. Its down near Tara, kinda close to Joe, and Beth. So, moving to south Jersey would definitely not be the end of the world. I'd be sad, cause I'd miss my friends from up here, but I'm still working with rutherford so I'd be up a lot anyway. Of course, this isn't an instrumental position so my chances of getting this job are slim to none anyway.

Ugh. I just feel like shit. Everything in my life seems to be falling apart. I need to sleep.

Maybe if I go back to sleep and wake up again, it'll all be better. Try this whole day thing again.

Sun, Jul. 29th, 2007, 10:55 am

I'm the best damn thing that you're eyes have ever seen...

I'm going through a lot of shit lately. Its no secret I haven't been myself. I'm going to come out of it, just give me time.

However, almost dying last night really puts things into perspective.

You know, you're never gonna do better than me. And I finally know that now.

I was given a second chance last night. I should seriosuly be dead right now, or at the very least lying very crippled in a hospital bed. I was literally INCHES away from being in a horrible accident. I've never been so scared in my life. I legitimately at the end just screamed, grabbed on and braced myself...because I seriously thought it was over. I was INCHES away from a head on collison on 46.....its a miracle that I am not dead. Thankfully vivian didn't panic. It wasn't even late, so I can't blame anything on alcohol or anything. I am just...really really lucky.

I've never been really religious. However I do very strongly believe in 2nd chances. I got one last night...and now I'm going to stop moping around andbeing miserable. I'm going to be ok...and I know that now. I should be dead, that's all I keep thinking right now.

Thank you to Vivian's Mom, all of my dead Grandparents, Giulio and whatever other angels were watching out for me last night..cause seriously, i really should not be here right now. And I'm not one to exaggerate or just throw that around.

Ok, now I have to go get ready for a wedding. Peace out!!

Sun, Jul. 22nd, 2007, 09:10 am

I've had a lot of ups and downs. My graduation party was amazing. I never realized how many people cared about me until that day, as silly as that sounds. I also didn't realize how many people we could fit in my yard!!!

I have so much that I want to say but out of fear of not knowing who will read this, I can't. I just don't get it. I think I just need to know you're taking this as hard or harder than I am, and I think I'll feel better.

I feel like if *He* can finally realize what he gave up in me, so can you. doesn't mean I'll take you back, but It'll at least make me feel better.

Or I could just try not to think about it.

so, It's July 22nd, I still have no job. Its looking more and more like I'm going to have to take a non-teaching job come september. If I knew there was nothing available, i'd feel better. But I have been on 12 interviews. I had 1 offer, but part time. Not even like .8 time...half time. So, I can't take that I'll never be able to live, pay off my loans, pay my insurance, anything.

Maybe I'll just lounge in the back yard today and see if that makes me feel better.

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